The Anthem

I was planning on studying for a test that counts for 30% of my grade that's taking place in approximately 13 hours, but because we all have priorities, I figured that this was a little bit more important...

I've lived in this wonderful country for over twenty years, and during that time, I've realized that we have three main beliefs.

1.  Being bigger and more powerful than everybody else (see: military, pickup trucks, football, the state of Texas)
2.  Consuming more than everybody else (see: food, oil, beer)
3.  Being more proud of ourselves than anybody else is of their poor excuses for countries.

Brief anecdote:

We had a friend from Australia come visit us four years ago.  Unfortunately it was in the middle of winter so she couldn't see the greatest game in the world, but she did get to attend a high school basketball game.  She was shocked that we played the National Anthem before the game started.  I got this news from my mother so I didn't hear the exact conversation, but I have to assume that it went something like this:

Friend: "Why do you play the National Anthem before a sporting event?"
Mom: "'Cause we're proud of this beautiful land.  Sea to shining sea, purple mountains majesty, with liberty and justice for all.  Murka.  Fuck yea.  God bless us every one."

She then began to sing the soprano line over the top of the Cary Grove High School Band, much to the delight of our friend and everyone around her.

I, for one, love the National Anthem, God Bless America, Toby Keith, baseball, apple pie, and Budweiser, and I'm glad that all of these things are so prominent in American culture.  But mostly, I'm glad that they all appear together (Except apple pie.  I don't think you can get apple pie at the ballpark.  This needs to be changed.  ASAP.  Like right now.  Quit reading.  Work on this.  Yes, you.).  Is there anything cooler than standing up in the bleachers with 30,000 (9,000 if you're in Cleveland, 0 if you're in Toronto) other Americans before a baseball game listening to someone belt out the Star Spangled Banner?

Trick question.

Yes there is.

Flashback to the glory days:

 The coolest thing in the entire world was getting your name called out before the game, running onto the field, toeing the foul line (but good God if you stepped on it you were screwed), and listening to the National Anthem under the lights.  That was quite possibly the greatest part of Little League.  (Except for getting a dollar for the concession stand after the game).

"Batting sixth (-ixth, -ixth) and pitching (-ing, -ing, -ing), number tah-wenty (-ty, -ty), Daaaaaaaan Finaaaaan!!!!!"

Scattered applause from the 28 parents and siblings in the stands rains down on the young ginger as he scrambles out of the dugout.  He waddles into the light, stares at the flag behind center field, whips off his cap and puts it over his heart.  There's an awkward 40 second pause as the dads in the announcers booth struggle to work the tape recorder that finally plays out a grainy version of the Star Spangled Banner.  Parents stand restlessly in the bleachers, hoping that their child isn't the one screaming of a pegging-related injury in a game of running bases behind left field.  Still, the 4'11" flame-haired flamethrower stands at attention, never more proud to be wearing a baseball uniform.  He's playing for himself, his teammates, his father, and his country, a young lad who is simply happy to be able to play the greatest game in the world in the greatest nation in the world.

He then proceeded to give up 14 runs in 1 2/3 innings.  Fortunately his tears were quickly gone when he found out about the copious supply of David seeds and Big League Chew in the dugout.

The National Anthem meant something to us youngins.  It put us on the same level as our heroes (see: Herbert Perry, Carlos Baerga, Danny Almonte), because dammit, they had to sit through it too.  And just like taking infield and struggling to get your cup to fit without pinching your nuts, it should have been annoying and repetitive, but it truly never got old.